You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This baby is an asshole
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
