She is in my trunk
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
