New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
