I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
