So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
