my sisters under your porch take her home
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
