dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
