FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
