i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
