thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
