Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
