She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its not stalking. its research.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
