I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize