I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
