does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
