I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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