& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
