please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
