Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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