$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize