how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
