hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
