Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
