TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
