I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
