I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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