I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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