bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize