You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
