YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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