Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
