Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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