Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
