Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't think brook has ever known best
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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