no, he came in my armpit
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
