I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
