I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
