I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
