Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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