omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
