Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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