this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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