I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
