That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
