she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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