we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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