I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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