no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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