mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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