Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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