we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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