And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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