They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
