Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
