sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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