I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
