I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
