I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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