But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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