their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
