I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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