so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
